So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
