dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
