So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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