I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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