genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
