you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
