R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
