Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
