Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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