You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
