shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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