oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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