try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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