i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
