I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
