I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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