Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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