ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I smell stomach acid.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
