What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
