it wasn't lemon gatorade
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
