he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
