its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
