my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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