I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
