I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
