I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
