Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize