I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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