I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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