he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
