dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just invented taco cereal.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
