Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
