He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize