this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
