You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
