So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
