u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
