ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We are all done wearing pants today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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