Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize