if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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