i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
