So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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