Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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