we have officially lost it.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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