great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
