Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
