so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
