I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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