I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
