He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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