idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
