I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
