Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
