Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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