Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
