I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
