grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
