UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
