Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
