I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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