I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone signed my nipple.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
