So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
