I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
