OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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