Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize