and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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