I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
