I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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