I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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