i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to make out with him forever
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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