their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize