i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
