I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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