make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
