Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
