Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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