my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
